Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize