Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
