Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
