ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So many bounce houses so little time
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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