i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
