I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize