nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
