It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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