why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
