finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
