It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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