I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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