she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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