YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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