I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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