Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
