He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
