Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize