Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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