if i can run in heels then i can drive
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
