Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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