I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize