When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
