I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
