Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
