she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
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