It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
