So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
