and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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