that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
