All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
MIDGETS
????
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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