She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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