Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize