I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The beer is more important than you right now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
