You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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