I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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