they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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