people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
