I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
