we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize