9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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