How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
