I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i came on her dog
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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