When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
