dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He did a backflip because drugs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
