I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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