like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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