They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
