i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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