im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
