FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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