His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize