im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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