I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i out mim tonsoeep
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