my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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