we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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