Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
