he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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