I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
