There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
