I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
