I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
