i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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