So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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