come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
