piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
