I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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