I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
