I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
