3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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