Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
