I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize