guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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