Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
