oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
